Seems Just Like Yesterday…

You said you didn’t want to hold my hand while walking down the road.
It seems just like yesterday when you were tiny and you held my finger tight.
You grew up so fast.

You said you were hungry.
It seems just like yesterday when, nipple-in-mouth, you’d fill your tiny tummy and sleep tight.
You grew up in a flash.

You said you were sad.
It seems just like yesterday when you’d cry and I’d watch helplessly trying to figure out why you were crying.
You grew up in a blink.

You said you’d climb the stairs yourself.
It seems just like yesterday when you took your first steps, giggling and stumbling into my lap.
You grew up so quickly.

You kissed me goodnight.
And you put your tiny arms around me.
How I wish time stopped this instant. You and I, here, in this moment forever.

But time moves on. The next second and the next.
Let me hold this moment with you always in my heart.
This moment is perfect.

A New Perspective

My colleague made me realize a new perspective today.
Here’s what happened:
I am extremely touchy about food. I cannot bear wastage of food and I cannot bear anyone calling food names (not good, too watery, tasteless, oily, etc.)

The canteen at my workplace doesn’t serve 5-star quality food. It is passable, and very useful for days I don’t find time to bring my lunch. I don’t find it very unpalatable.

My colleague is different. She hates canteen food and if she cannot bring lunch, she’d rather swiggy than eating at the canteen. Each to her own.
But what I can’t bear is that she sits with me and make weird faces at my plate.

So I told her a couple of times to stop doing it because for me, it amounts to insulting of food.

She gave me a new perspective. She said, “I am not insulting the food, per se. Food is made from raw items. It’s the cooks/chefs I’m complaining about. It is their work to do the work well. They don’t. That’s what I’m cribbing about.”

Goes to show. We always learn something new from everyone.

The Difficulties New Mothers Face While Breastfeeding

Hi there! So you have successfully completed your gestational period and now have a bundle of joy in your hands. Congratulations on the new arrival!

The most daunting task is over, you think? How far from the truth you are! This is just the beginning of the next rollercoaster journey! And what a great journey it is going to be!

Right after the delivery, after the initial ecstasy, you are expected to feed the baby. Some babies latch on right away and start sucking while other babies don’t. The struggle of those who don’t is real.

What is a good latch?

The baby must take not only the nipple but the entire areola (the dark part around the nipple) inside the mouth while sucking. The mother should not feel any pain or discomfort while feeding.

How to achieve a good latch?

• Hold your nipple just above the areola in a scissor hold, that is, between your index and middle fingers.
• Wait for the baby to open its mouth fully.
• Point your nipple towards the baby’s nose and insert the nipple inside the mouth.
• The whole areola should be inside baby’s mouth.

You can try various positions and holds to get this right. It may take a few (or many) tries, but believe me, once a good latch is achieved, your life will be much easier.

Obstacles faced during breastfeeding

• Engorged breasts – Milk comes in after 2-3 days and if the baby is not latching due to any reason, it may cause engorgement. Sometimes, milk comes in in high quantities, causing engorgement. Breast engorgement is painful and doesn’t allow baby to latch on properly, causing more pain. Solution – Take a warm bath or apply hot fomentation to the breast and express by hand before offering to the baby.
• Cuts on nipples – The first few times, when baby is learning to latch on, cuts on the nipples are very common, though they may occur throughout your breastfeeding journey. Solution – Apply desi ghee/clarified butter or your breastmilk on the cut. Let it air dry. Don’t wear tight clothes.
• Milk blebs – When milk is trapped beneath the skin of the nipple, it is called a milk bleb. It is somewhat similar to a blister. It occurs on the nipples in areas from where the milk ducts open out. Milk blebs are very painful. Solution – Milk blebs usually go off by themselves, but while they last, they are extremely painful. You can massage your breasts and try to “push” them out during a warm bath. You can also try separating the upper skin under which milk is trapped using a sterile needle. Whatever you do, feed your baby from that breast too. Sometimes, the baby sucks out the milk. In extreme cases, you can go for an antibiotic course on advise of your gynaecologist. Meanwhile, bite a towel while baby latches on, because it is going to hurt.
• Oversupply – Yes, this is indeed an issue. Folks usually think that a lesser supply is a problem. But trust me, when you have milk gushing out of your breasts uncontrollably, that is a major problem, too. Your child can end up gagging, or worse, choking, on the spray of milk. Also, the foremilk is more water-based. If your baby drinks up all the watery milk, its tiny stomach will be filled by the time your nutrient-rich hindmilk comes in. The excess force of the milk can cause your baby to fuss at your breast and it can make them gassy. Plus, you will be left with super engorged breasts.

So what do you do? You simply pump out the milk at regular intervals, or simply before feeding your child. (Pumping at regular intervals can lead to increasing supply as the breast produces as much milk as is needed. If it gets the signal that your breasts are emptying, your breasts might work overtime to produce more milk.) This way, the initial burst of milk is reduced and your child can suck for a longer time and get hindmilk as well.

Well, that’s all for the time being. I have been wanting to write this since a very, very long time, but couldn’t find time. I am glad I did now.

If you have any queries, do ask in the comments. I believe that mothers learn from their peers more than from anyone else. Let this forum uplift each one of us!

The Mom

The mom going through sleepless nights.
The mom handling multiple babies.
The mom going to work because she needs to.
The mom going to work because she wants to.
The mom who doesn’t want to work but is forced to.
The mom who wants to work but is forced not to.
The mom who keeps her child away from her, so that she can work night shifts.
The mom who stays at home to look after her child, but despairing because the child won’t eat what she made.
The mom dreading the day when her baby will grow up and go to school but feeling happy at the same time.
The mom reluctant to put her child in daycare because she has never been away from her child.
The mom who cries in the bathroom so that her child won’t see her tears.
The mom juggling all responsibilities and feeling guilty about not devoting time to her child.
The mom taking care of her child and feeling guilty about not being there for family.
The mom doing everything yet feeling guilty.
The woman who wants to be a mom.
The mom who wants to be a woman.
I see you.
I have been there. We all have.
Just remember, one day, all of this will be behind you and you will look at it and smile.
Keep faith. Keep going.

I am with you.

Yet another Valentine’s Day!

So, Valentine’s Day came and went as usual. No change in our lives. No roses, no sweet messages, indeed, both of us didn’t even remember that it was 14th, till we saw lovey-dovey messages on our WhatsApp groups. Honestly, we didn’t suffer any loss by not celebrating!

I really don’t understand why Valentine’s Day is so overrated. It is just a day in a year, like any other day. But the buildup is tremendous. What with the hug day and kiss day and teddy day and whatnot, it is like a huge run up before a minor event. 

But why all this? Don’t we love each other on other days? If we don’t express our love on this day, does it mean we don’t love each other? And is love only between partners? What about the love a mother has for her child, a brother for his sister, a girl for her best friend?

There are many irksome things about Valentine’s Day, but these are ones that bother me most:

1. The buildup – As I already said, the buildup to this day has become unbearable. Even a India-Pakistan match doesn’t have so many people looking forward to it.
2. Only devoted to couples – What are the singles supposed to do? Hide their face or get a partner just to look good in the crowd?
3. Goals – Some goals have been set and valentine’s has to celebrated exactly in that way. Includes flowers, dinners etc.
4. Seeing red – Anything and everything possessing the colour red is super costly that day. Right from red roses, red balloons, red heart pillows, red dresses, letters written in blood..Ok the last one isn’t costly in the money sense..
5. The onus is on the man – Yes. The man in the relationship should propose, take the girl out on a date, give flowers… Doesn’t the girl love the man? And where’s equality when we need it?
6. Other relationships are overlooked – No other relationship is as worthwhile as one between partners. Period.
7. The moral policing – Bad publicity is the best publicity. This is proved time and again by the moral police. By stopping couples from doing what they want (and sometimes, even marrying them off,) they are, in fact, encouraging more and more people to celebrate Valentine’s Day!

All this said, a day to celebrate love is good, when all we hear is violence and hatred stories around us. But please, let us not over-commercialise it and spoil everyone’s enjoyment!

Positivity

Nobody can be positive all the time.

Even the most positive person. Even the motivator. Even the leader.

Negative thoughts do come. They creep upon you noiselessly, when you are looking elsewhere. Then they grab you with their long fingers. And they try their best to pull you down.

What do you do then? How do you fight back? Or do you allow yourself to be pulled down in an abyss?

There’s a thin line between thinking negative thoughts and going into depression. Many do not realise the difference. For one in depression, any day is just like another, full of negative thoughts.

Let’s make a conscious effort to pull ourselves up. Look at the mirror, the first thing in the morning, while brushing your teeth, smile and say “Good morning, have a wonderful day!” to your reflection. Smile at random people throughout the day. They may not smile back, but for you, a smile will do wonders.

Call your friends, relatives who make you happy. Talk. Share.

Surround yourself with positive people. Easier said than done. Not impossible though.

When everyone has slept, take out some time for yourself. Recollect the day. Throw away negative actions. Revel in the positive ones. If possible, write it up in a diary. 

Meditate. Just sit in a quiet corner of your home and concentrate on your breathing. Take deep breaths. Concentrate. Empty your mind.

Keep yourself fit. A healthy body is home to a happy mind. Eat healthy, sleep well, exercise. 

All this said, if you have been continuously having negative thoughts for more then a week (yes, suicidal thoughts count too,) then you need to get professional help.

But if, throughout the day, you have even a single positive thought, hold on to it. It is your ray of sunshine, your silver lining. Just pull it closer to you. Break negativity’s grip. Not easy, yes, but not impossible.

Just remember, you have one life. Live it on your terms!

8 Ways to Wear Regular Outfits but Look Modern

Bored of your regular clothes? Thinking of going on a shopping trip to totally stock up a new wardrobe?

Wait!

Before you throw away that boring white shirt, here are a few ideas what you can do with your regular clothes to look stylish. Easy on the pocket too!

1.  Belt it up:

A belt can transform a boring outfit into an interesting one. Place a wide,sassy belt on your waist and you are done.

2. Watch your way:

Just strap on a huge dialled watch or a dainty one. Get converted into a diva.

3. Glaring example:

Complete your look with a pair of sunglasses. Nothing spells oomph as much!

4. Accessories:

An elegant necklace? Yes! A teeny tiny bracelet glinting on your wrist? Superb! You can hardly go wrong when you have these saviours with you. Don’t over-accessorize, though. Just a few pieces, and you are done!

5. Bags:

A bag can make or break an outfit. Carry a clutch/purse in a neutral colour. It instantly gives a classy look to the carrier.

6. Shoes:

OK so this is self-explanatory. While colourful ballerinas and sneakers can spice up jeans and a plain t-shirt, heels give your legs an awesome shape and you a good posture. See you rushing off to the shoe store already!!

7. Crowning glory:

Every woman’s pride and joy! Just twist it up into an untidy bun or braid it or tie it up in a ponytail or leave it loose..The options are endless and the end result is awesome!

8. Make up:

A simple dash of lipstick or a line of Kohl can do wonders to your beauty. Use pinks for softer lips, reds for sensuous ones. Just go out and see the difference!

Rummage through your wardrobe. What is the white shirt doing at the back? Pull it out. Mix and match. Get contrast dupattas and team it up with your jeans and tee. Ditch your jeans for a tie-and-die skirt.. endless possibilities. Just go for it! Tell us what you did!

Motherhood

What is Motherhood?

It is an exhilarating rollercoaster ride!

No one prepares you for it. One moment, you are not a mother, the next moment you are.

Every little smile is happiness. Every twitch of the finger amazing! You watch your baby as they sleep, wondering at the perfection. 
Every milestone your baby achieves is more like a personal achievement. “Wow! My baby can see me!” “He responds to sounds!” “Oh she sleeps through the night!”

But motherhood is not all smiles.

Most of the early days pass in a befuddled state. You don’t know what to do with the bundle in your hands which just can cry to communicate.
Self-doubts plague you. “Is my milk adequate for my child?” “Am I holding my baby right?” “Why did I even become a mother?” 

You wake up at regular intervals to see whether your baby is breathing. You forget a good night’s sleep amidst diaper changes and stuffy noses and a baby trying to claim your space and your blanket. Hot food is a dream.  Pee smells and poop stains are everywhere. Days and nights get all jumbled up though you do your best to bring normalcy to your life. Others get on with their lives; your crazy life too, goes on.

Blame, advice, tantrums, you soldier on through all.

At the end of the day, when your baby gives you a smile and hugs you while sleeping, all the troubles seem worthwhile.

What is Motherhood?

Didn’t you know? It is an exhilarating rollercoaster ride!

The Birthday Gift

‘Twas my birthday yesterday. Now let me tell you, I am a complete baby when it comes to birthdays. Come December, and I start dancing around because hey! it is my birthday month! I remind people around me about it. Seriously, I am not worried about gifts. But I want people close to me to remember and wish me and I get upset if someone doesn’t!!

This year was different, though. It was my first birthday after becoming a mom to P.

The day started as usual went on as usual as well. But I got an awesome gift. Not from my hub or my friends. But the gift was from…P!

When he woke up in the morning, he just looked at me and gave me a toothless grin. The grin continued well into the day – when I was wearing him, cooking and cleaning, while bathing and while nursing too. He kept giving me these cute little smiles.

Even thinking about them now is making me so happy.

What is the best gift you received on your birthday?

Leave them alone!

Our parents were a cool lot, I have to say. Each of our milestones were not celebrated on Facebook and neither were our illnesses documented. We were allowed to go out and explore. We FELT the mud and the grass. We hopped about in puddles. We earned the wrath of our elders, but we did it anyway.
Junk food was never an option. Indeed, there weren’t many places to hang out and in any case, we didn’t want to. Money was precious and so was time. We were taught values of both. Our parents didn’t spend a whole lifetime spending their money on gadgets and their time updating their social status.
They were. And they let us be.

What are we doing now?
We complain about lack of time, but the time we get is spent online, not with our children. We feel guilty about not having enough time for them and we buy them costly stuff, toys, electronics – stuff they don’t need.
Whether a child started crawling or didn’t want a meal, everything goes online.
We say each child is different, then we compare our child’s every little aspect with lakhs of other children and reduce our child to a statistic, because hey! we know it all, right?
Wrong. A baby who has come into this world knows nothing. It is up to us to teach our children that they do not have to run a race in which their parents are placing bets.
Everyone gets their childhood only once. Let us do what our parents did to us. Leave them alone!