Positivity

Positivity

Nobody can be positive all the time.

Even the most positive person. Even the motivator. Even the leader.

Negative thoughts do come. They creep upon you noiselessly, when you are looking elsewhere. Then they grab you with their long fingers. And they try their best to pull you down.

What do you do then? How do you fight back? Or do you allow yourself to be pulled down in an abyss?

There’s a thin line between thinking negative thoughts and going into depression. Many do not realise the difference. For one in depression, any day is just like another, full of negative thoughts.

Let’s make a conscious effort to pull ourselves up. Look at the mirror, the first thing in the morning, while brushing your teeth, smile and say “Good morning, have a wonderful day!” to your reflection. Smile at random people throughout the day. They may not smile back, but for you, a smile will do wonders.

Call your friends, relatives who make you happy. Talk. Share.

Surround yourself with positive people. Easier said than done. Not impossible though.

When everyone has slept, take out some time for yourself. Recollect the day. Throw away negative actions. Revel in the positive ones. If possible, write it up in a diary. 

Meditate. Just sit in a quiet corner of your home and concentrate on your breathing. Take deep breaths. Concentrate. Empty your mind.

Keep yourself fit. A healthy body is home to a happy mind. Eat healthy, sleep well, exercise. 

All this said, if you have been continuously having negative thoughts for more then a week (yes, suicidal thoughts count too,) then you need to get professional help.

But if, throughout the day, you have even a single positive thought, hold on to it. It is your ray of sunshine, your silver lining. Just pull it closer to you. Break negativity’s grip. Not easy, yes, but not impossible.

Just remember, you have one life. Live it on your terms!

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8 Ways to Wear Regular Outfits but Look Modern

8 Ways to Wear Regular Outfits but Look Modern

Bored of your regular clothes? Thinking of going on a shopping trip to totally stock up a new wardrobe?

Wait!

Before you throw away that boring white shirt, here are a few ideas what you can do with your regular clothes to look stylish. Easy on the pocket too!

1.  Belt it up:

A belt can transform a boring outfit into an interesting one. Place a wide,sassy belt on your waist and you are done.

2. Watch your way:

Just strap on a huge dialled watch or a dainty one. Get converted into a diva.

3. Glaring example:

Complete your look with a pair of sunglasses. Nothing spells oomph as much!

4. Accessories:

An elegant necklace? Yes! A teeny tiny bracelet glinting on your wrist? Superb! You can hardly go wrong when you have these saviours with you. Don’t over-accessorize, though. Just a few pieces, and you are done!

5. Bags:

A bag can make or break an outfit. Carry a clutch/purse in a neutral colour. It instantly gives a classy look to the carrier.

6. Shoes:

OK so this is self-explanatory. While colourful ballerinas and sneakers can spice up jeans and a plain t-shirt, heels give your legs an awesome shape and you a good posture. See you rushing off to the shoe store already!!

7. Crowning glory:

Every woman’s pride and joy! Just twist it up into an untidy bun or braid it or tie it up in a ponytail or leave it loose..The options are endless and the end result is awesome!

8. Make up:

A simple dash of lipstick or a line of Kohl can do wonders to your beauty. Use pinks for softer lips, reds for sensuous ones. Just go out and see the difference!

Rummage through your wardrobe. What is the white shirt doing at the back? Pull it out. Mix and match. Get contrast dupattas and team it up with your jeans and tee. Ditch your jeans for a tie-and-die skirt.. endless possibilities. Just go for it! Tell us what you did!

Motherhood

Motherhood

What is Motherhood?

It is an exhilarating rollercoaster ride!

No one prepares you for it. One moment, you are not a mother, the next moment you are.

Every little smile is happiness. Every twitch of the finger amazing! You watch your baby as they sleep, wondering at the perfection. 
Every milestone your baby achieves is more like a personal achievement. “Wow! My baby can see me!” “He responds to sounds!” “Oh she sleeps through the night!”

But motherhood is not all smiles.

Most of the early days pass in a befuddled state. You don’t know what to do with the bundle in your hands which just can cry to communicate.
Self-doubts plague you. “Is my milk adequate for my child?” “Am I holding my baby right?” “Why did I even become a mother?” 

You wake up at regular intervals to see whether your baby is breathing. You forget a good night’s sleep amidst diaper changes and stuffy noses and a baby trying to claim your space and your blanket. Hot food is a dream.  Pee smells and poop stains are everywhere. Days and nights get all jumbled up though you do your best to bring normalcy to your life. Others get on with their lives; your crazy life too, goes on.

Blame, advice, tantrums, you soldier on through all.

At the end of the day, when your baby gives you a smile and hugs you while sleeping, all the troubles seem worthwhile.

What is Motherhood?

Didn’t you know? It is an exhilarating rollercoaster ride!

The Birthday Gift

The Birthday Gift

‘Twas my birthday yesterday. Now let me tell you, I am a complete baby when it comes to birthdays. Come December, and I start dancing around because hey! it is my birthday month! I remind people around me about it. Seriously, I am not worried about gifts. But I want people close to me to remember and wish me and I get upset if someone doesn’t!!

This year was different, though. It was my first birthday after becoming a mom to P.

The day started as usual went on as usual as well. But I got an awesome gift. Not from my hub or my friends. But the gift was from…P!

When he woke up in the morning, he just looked at me and gave me a toothless grin. The grin continued well into the day – when I was wearing him, cooking and cleaning, while bathing and while nursing too. He kept giving me these cute little smiles.

Even thinking about them now is making me so happy.

What is the best gift you received on your birthday?

Leave them alone!

Leave them alone!

Our parents were a cool lot, I have to say. Each of our milestones were not celebrated on Facebook and neither were our illnesses documented. We were allowed to go out and explore. We FELT the mud and the grass. We hopped about in puddles. We earned the wrath of our elders, but we did it anyway.
Junk food was never an option. Indeed, there weren’t many places to hang out and in any case, we didn’t want to. Money was precious and so was time. We were taught values of both. Our parents didn’t spend a whole lifetime spending their money on gadgets and their time updating their social status.
They were. And they let us be.

What are we doing now?
We complain about lack of time, but the time we get is spent online, not with our children. We feel guilty about not having enough time for them and we buy them costly stuff, toys, electronics – stuff they don’t need.
Whether a child started crawling or didn’t want a meal, everything goes online.
We say each child is different, then we compare our child’s every little aspect with lakhs of other children and reduce our child to a statistic, because hey! we know it all, right?
Wrong. A baby who has come into this world knows nothing. It is up to us to teach our children that they do not have to run a race in which their parents are placing bets.
Everyone gets their childhood only once. Let us do what our parents did to us. Leave them alone!

Guilty momma!

Guilty momma!

Bub was feeling under the weather since last night. He had fever. Yesterday afternoon, I had taken him along to the outskirts of the city, to attend a friend’s wedding. Guilt clawed at my inside, maybe the long dusty travel had caused his fever. And as bub suffered more and more, first crying inconsolably, then being awake throughout the night, then having a stuffed nose, the guilt took enormous proportions.

Visited the doctor today. He wasn’t too worried, said viral fever was doing its rounds, had attacked bub too. Guilty heart made me promise myself that I wouldn’t take him out till he was better.

Came home. Bub got cranky. Consoled him. Felt guilty for feeling hungry.

House help called up to say she won’t be coming. Had work to do, but impossible with a feverish baby. Called the husband home early. Felt guilty for not managing the home.

Sounds familiar? I’m sure it bloody does. This is what all mommies go through every minute of their lives.

Baby crying, guilty. Baby sleeping for long, guilty. Baby is ill, guilty. Baby is mischievous, guilty. Home is mismanaged, guilty. Home is perfectly managed, yet guilty for some other reason.

Oh, this guilt fest never ends! Sometimes it makes me wakeful. Sometimes I cry.

But no matter what I do, guilty I am.

Girls, come on. Get out of it! The whole world is out there to get you. Don’t do it to yourself too. I know I’m not the perfect person to comment on this, but hey! YOU are doing the best for your baby and your family! Don’t let your guilty feelings take it away from you. Be strong! Be happy!

Baby wearing and us

Baby wearing and us

Baby was especially cranky that day. Couldn’t do any work. Went without lunch, and, had hub not stepped in, would have gone without dinner too. I did what I do best these days – searched the internet for a solution.

There it was! Baby wearing! It was the answer to all our problems. I could work, bub would be happy. It was indeed a win-win situation. A talk with a baby wearing educator convinced me.

I looked up some tutorials on YouTube. I was doubtful at first. YouTube said a saree would work. The educator said that too. Had to make do, didn’t have a carrier yet.

Next morning, bub and me were tied together, both of us so happy to be there. I went about my work while bub slumbered and gave me sleepy smiles during intervals.

Then the well-wishers had to go and spoil it all.

“How will he be independent?” they asked. “How will he complete his milestones?” they asked.

I was vexed. Here I was, happy that bub and I were finally going to start having a fantastic time together, and there they were, pouring cold water over all my plans.

Internet came to the rescue again! I read that baby wearing led to growth in babies’ mental development. It results in happier babies. They DO complete their milestones no matter what.

That was the push I needed. I ordered a wrap for us and started wearing bub in earnest. And I did another thing too – I shut off the ‘well-wishers’ from my mind and my home.

Aren’t we a happy momma’s boy now!!